Cold

Cold is one of Icy's former real-life crushes.

History
I kind of consider him my first crush because this was the first crush I had after I entered middle school (which, in my opinion, is where crushes actually start to mean something). He was also the first guy I ever had daydreams about. Anyways, I met him at school when I was in 6th grade (it was maybe around December or January). I went to the nurse's office with a headache and they had me lie down on one of the cots.

After a while and after my headache started to go away, an 8th grader came in and for lack of anything better to do, I listened to what he had come to the nurse for. What really caught my attention was when the nurse asked, "Did you injure it in hockey?" Since I also played hockey, I wondered if I knew him. After he left, the nurse told me I could go back to my class, so I caught up to him and immediately started a hockey conversation (this was back in the days when I wasn't as excruciatingly shy as I am now). I only caught his last name, but I learned that he knew my dad, so I asked him about Cold. He told me Cold's name and how he plays hockey and everything and once I found out all this out, I friended him on Facebook.

I would often see him around school and at the hockey rink and I would always shout hello (looking back, I was probably really annoying and I don't remember how I used to be so... not-shy...). Sometimes, I would watch his hockey practice and just "casually" walk by if he was around. If he talked to me, I kind of got all goofy and then after he walked away I would have a total fangirl attack. Once, I was tying my shoe next to the bleachers and his team got off the ice, so I looked up at him and greeted him. He said "Hey!" with a big grin, then leaned down and gave me a pat on the back, which made me float out of the rink with a big, dreamy smile on my face.

There were a couple of moments where I kind of embarrassed myself in front of him. One was when I had to wear a poofy white shirt and poofy red skirt with a red flower in my hair for a school event (my team was the Los Fantasticos, so our team wore Spanish things) and I was standing outside of my science class, PRAYING that he wouldn't pass by and see me. As I am thinking this thought, I heard a, "Hey, Icy!" and there he was! The second time was when I was looking for my little brother at the rink and I bumped into him and he asked what I was up to. I prattled on like a fool, "Well, I'm looking for my brother and I've checked both rinks and all of the locker rooms and I've been looking around the lobby and if he isn't here he's probably in the bathroom, so I probably shouldn't bother looking for him because I can't go into the boy's bathroom and blah blah blah blah..." I just went on and on with another dreamy smile on my face. He didn't really mind, and him being very kind, offered to go check the boy's bathroom to see if my brother was in there for me. As he did, I just slapped myself for being so weird...

On my last day of school (I was going to miss the actual last day because I was going to spend the next couple of days in Zion with my Grandma, Aunt, and cousin), it was 8th grade graduation and I REALLY wanted him to sign my yearbook and I saw him coming back after school and I figured, "It's now or never" so I went for it. I don't even need to get my yearbook to remember exactly what he said, "Have an amazing break see you at the rink! :) From, Cold". Then I spent the whole summer staring at his picture in my yearbook.

Over the summer, I tried talking to him over Facebook but he never answered. To this day, a lonesome "hi" sits in our chatbox with the suspicions that he probably didn't even bother to open my chatbox. I continued to crush on him into my 7th grade year, but I didn't see him as much. I saw him sometimes after school because his sister is a year older than me. He would come and talk to some of his former teachers and I'd look for him and always greet him. Once, I was trying to show him to my ex-best friend and I saw him after school, so I grabbed her arm and hissed, "There he is!" a bit too loudly. I'm pretty sure he heard me, because he turned and gave me a queer look, so I hurriedly ducked away and ran away with my friend, blushing all the while.

Around October, I discovered that he had just gotten into a relationship. I remember the feeling I got when I found out. I got so cold and numb and just curled up onto the couch. It made me determined to show him that I am way better than his girlfriend in every aspect, but I didn't know how I would do that. Mostly, I just daydreamed about what if he did actually like me.

On the 30th, my family went to the ice rink for a trunk-or-treat event. Cold was there and it was his birthday, so I kind of casually stalked him around there, then I wished him a happy birthday.

A bit later, maybe a couple of weeks or a month or so, I saw him outside during dryland. We were both on a travel team (though they were separate teams) and we exercised outside. He and a bunch of his teammates took off their shirts and all I could do was try to not stare at his abs. That was one of my last memories of him.

I waited for months, just daydream about Cold and I, but I eventually accepted the fact that he probably wouldn't feel the same way about me, and even if he did, my parents probably wouldn't let me date him because I was just in 7th grade and he was in high school. That pushed me over the edge and I started getting absorbed in a fictional world with fictional crushes.

Looking back, I didn't even know him that well and the feelings I had for him aren't like the feelings I feel for a certain someone else now. Plus, I haven't seen or spoke to him for God knows how long and I don't really mind. My feelings for him died along with what pitiful little scrap of social skills and involvedness that I had left. As far as I know, he still plays hockey and he no longer has that girlfriend. He should be graduating high school this year and I'm still friends with him on Facebook even though he pays no regard to me and vice-versa.

Personality
He was very calm and kind and usually very happy. He was always smiling whenever I saw him and he was nice to talk to. I also remember him as very helpful and sweet. I didn't exactly know him that well, but those traits are what stood out to me (I'm using past tense because I don't know how he is like now. For all I know, he could be a big jerk now).

Appearance
He was kind of short for his age (even though he was much taller than me) and he was very well-muscled (like I said, he had abs). He had this really cute face; I'm not exactly sure how to explain it and a smile that was really different. Like, if I see someone smiling and it looks like one of his smiles, I call it a "Cold Smile" (not a cold hearted, chilly smile, but his code-name Cold). He also had long, flippy blond hair that just kind of outlined his face and fell at his shoulders. Some of it covered his blue eyes (I think they were blue...) and I thought he was the most adorable thing.